CROW (Graffiti Street Guardians MC Book 4) Read online

  “If you want him to.”

  She shuffles in her new slip-on shoes. “If he wants to…”

  That was an interesting way to not ask me, but I understood that she didn’t want to be denied and right now, whether she wanted friendship or more, I was the one person she’d bonded to. I was her pack. Her leader.

  Or…maybe she’s mine.

  5

  Sasha

  Everyone’s staring at me and I’m not happy about it. I’m getting to my point. That point where I go off…and not in a good way.

  Crow moves to stand next to me. “Where do we go, Dr.?” He acts like he’s okay with all this. He’s sure. He’s confident. And I’m feeling less and less sure about this whole thing by the minute.

  Dr. Lyons motions us to follow. “I’ll have her back in a little while, Gia.”

  “Great.”

  Gia. She reminds me of someone from my past, but I’m not quite sure who it is. She’s just…familiar. But she’s also too nice. I could step all over her. I won’t. Yet. But I could.

  We go into a room and the doctor starts his exam. Height. 5’6”. Weight. Let’s not discuss it. I’ve never been a small girl and then I peed on a stick and realized it wasn’t going to change. I’ll gladly take the extra pounds to have a healthy baby. General health. Overall good. Heartburn…a lot. He confirms the heartburn is pretty normal, but I can take an antacid. But again, doctors think you can take a pill for everything.

  There are some things that a pill doesn’t cure. Like the past. Like the memories. Like the fear.

  “I’d like to do an external ultrasound, if you’re okay with that?" Check out the position and size of your baby.” Dr. Lyons rolls over a machine.

  I eye the machine up but nod my consent. Crow stays up by my head, his arms crossed on his chest, his black T-shirt pulling across his tight, bubbled biceps.

  He’s not what someone might think is traditionally attractive. He’s more rugged and maybe even a little hipster cool. His gnarly copper beard matches the ginger highlights in his dark hair. But his handlebar mustache puts him into a different category. Almost…dangerous.

  But it’s those eyes that are killers. They see into me. They disarm me. They…own me.

  And it all scares me. I drop my arm to the cold exam bed and a warmth slides over it and gives a long squeeze. The warmth starts to move away and I move to grab his hand. We don’t entwine our fingers, that’s too intimate, but his lightly tanned skin creates a juxtaposition against my darker skin.

  Momma was from the south and daddy was from the north. They met in the middle and I was created. Daddy died in a motorcycle accident. Momma died from a broken heart, but doctors said it was a heart defect—semantics. They didn’t know her. I knew her.

  And I was left to fend for myself at sixteen. I joined the military as soon as I hit eighteen. I needed the stability, the promise of a paycheck, but I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. The death triggered me. The noise affected me and made me sensitive. Crow’s truck was almost too much for me. I need quiet and peace. But there’s never peace when I sleep.

  The memories of the explosions come back. No matter how I try to stop them, they worm their way into my dreams and that’s why I sleep in fits. Twenty-minutes here and there. Nothing more. Ever. And on the bus, even less. I wasn’t going to let someone take my things.

  Dr. Lyons lifts my shirt and Crow keeps his eyes locked on a spot on the linoleum flooring. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.

  The machine lights up.

  “Crow, can you hit the first light switch?”

  Crow reaches out, his long arm and flicks the switch without releasing me. A smirk slips onto Dr. Lyons face, but he doesn’t say anything.

  I quickly raise to my elbows and examine the screen like I could ever read a medical machine. “Is there something wrong?” I ask.

  He holds up the wand. “Haven’t started. This gel will be warm but feel kind of sticky.”

  “Okay.” I lay back.

  “This is your first ultrasound?”

  I swallow. “This is my first everything. I…I couldn’t afford the doctor and the clinic couldn’t get me in until next month. They’re slammed right now. I just tried to eat well and get more sleep than I normally do and at my job, they didn’t make me shelve books, I just sat at the reference desk and helped people.”

  “No worries. We’ll get you on a schedule and make sure everything’s okay.” He squirts the liquid and it melts into my skin making my belly shiny.

  “Library?” Crow asks, his gaze meeting mine.

  “Yeah. Main Branch. We have 2.5 million books in the stacks and see millions of patrons each year. It’s like Grand Central station without the trains.”

  “Sounds like you loved it?” Dr. Lyons says.

  “I did. Does…does Kildare have a library?”

  Dr. Lyons’s smile could charm the fur off a hyena. “We have two. A regular one and then there’s a children’s library that the Sisterhood helps at. I’m sure they could get you on the schedule and—”

  “Oh, I’m not planning on staying.”

  They both look at me with raised eyebrows.

  “But…” Dr. Lyons looks back at the screen, his eyes squint just a little. “Sasha, are you feeling okay?”

  “Tired, but I think that’s supposed to happen, right?”

  “Have you been nauseated?”

  “Like sick to my stomach, well yeah, but the thing that bothers me most is the heartburn.”

  I start to get that weird feeling in my stomach—like snakes are inside and wiggling. “Is there something wrong?” This pregnancy wasn’t expected, but I did my best and I’d never hurt the baby.

  “How far along do you think you are?”

  “Going on four months.”

  Dr. Lyons turns the screen. “I have good news. Your pregnancy is progressing well. I’d say you’re more like six months along and we’ll have to get you to an obstetrician soon, but…” He points to the screen. “Sasha, you’re not having one baby. You’re having two.”

  I drop Crow’s hand and turn my head and upper body toward the screen. Crow moves in behind me and he leans over me to see the monitor.

  “Twins?” he asks on a heavy breath. “That’s…really cool. I’m a twin.”

  I look up at him and he smiles down at me. Up close I see his eyes are two different colors—unique and special. One is green with toffee colored specs and the other is toffee with honey specs. They make me hungry, but by the way my body heats I’m thinking it’s not for food.

  I reach up and touch his jaw. “Two babies.” My heart almost explodes with the words.

  His fingers wrap around my hand and he kisses them before threading his through mine. “Can you tell what she’s having?”

  Dr. Lyons shakes his head and returns the wand to the holder. “I can find the babies. I can determine they’re developing and estimate gestation, but that’s about it.”

  I’m not disappointed, but Crow seems to be. I clean up and Dr. Lyons helps me to sit up.

  “I’d really like you to see an obstetrician as soon as possible. Twins have special issues that come along with them.”

  “Like?” Crow asks, his voice deepening.

  “Umm…maybe you should step out, Crow.”

  I shake my head. “No, I want him here.”

  “Okay. One can get more nutrition than the other and then they don’t develop at the same rate leading to low birth weight or developmental disabilities. Or placenta placement can be tricky. And placement for a vaginal delivery is often problematic. Normally, everything goes fine, but just to be sure, I’d like to get you in next week. Are you planning on staying?”

  My gaze finds Crow’s. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

  6

  Crow

  Twins. Isn’t that a kick with motorcycle boots?

  Being part of a twin set—Landon and Lennox Wright—I understand what those babies will be capable of. Landon
and I weren’t identical, so we looked a little different. His eyes were brown and mine are multi-colored. Something called a complete heterochromia. My right eye is greener and my left eye is more hazel. It freaks a lot of people out, but it’s part of me.

  But these babies would be all Sasha’s. Unless…

  “You want something to eat?”

  “Yes,” she moans as we’re walking from the room.

  “Just remember you can take antacids, Sasha. Don’t suffer with heartburn, okay?” Blade mentions. “I’ll let you know when I have an appointment for you.”

  “I don’t have any insur—”

  “No worries. It’s all covered.” Blade smiles.

  “Wow. This place is something else.” She blushes as she looks up at him and it feels like I might break a tooth or two from clenching my jaw.

  Blade’s smile is pretty-boy and I want to smack that grin off his face. He’s one of those guys that you know could’ve been in a jerk-frat—there are some that aren’t jerks but not many from my experience at the University of Texas getting an art degree—and they made guys like me miserable.

  But it’s clear with shit like what just happened, he’s one of the good ones and won’t give him a good right hook. I’d consider him a brother, but I don’t think of anyone like that besides my real brother. I can’t. It would fade his memory.

  I lead her by the hand into the kitchen. I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I worked a full nine hours and then headed here. On Friday’s, we’re pretty casual at the club. But tomorrow we’ll be having meetings and making plans to get shit done.

  But there’s only one thing I want to get done—spend more time with this beautiful and engaging woman.

  I open the commercial fridge. “Looks like we have meatloaf and mashed potatoes, fried chicken, coleslaw and biscuits, and I make a mean grilled cheese.

  “Any tomato soup to go with that grilled cheese?”

  “On a ninety-degree day?”

  They keep it an icebox inside the compound, but considering I work outside, I don’t need it too cold to feel comfortable.

  She tips her head adorably. “Grilled cheese isn’t grilled cheese without tomato soup.”

  I open the cupboard. If she wants tomato soup, she’ll get tomato soup. I search, pulling out things I don’t even know what they are.

  “You know it’s okay…the meatloaf will be fine, Crow.”

  I pull out my phone and shine it into the cupboard. I see something in the back. I practically put my entire upper body in the storage area. I reach and grab…

  Hominy? What the hell is that?

  “Oh my god, I haven’t had hominy in forever!”

  I set it off to the side for later. She truly is pregnant. And really pregnant. She really only has about three months left. Not a lot of time with twins coming.

  I reach for another can that has a red and white label.

  She smiles when I turn around. “Wow. Now that was commitment to see a pregnant woman get her wish.”

  I walk to her and set the can on the counter. “Your wish…is my command, Sasha.”

  My heart beats sure. This woman who punched her way into my life is quickly becoming someone I’m not sure I can live without.

  “I can’t believe twins.” She lovingly rubs her stomach. “And farther along. But that’s not good.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because that means it’s not Trevor’s baby like I thought. It’s Casio’s.”

  My green eye probably brightens with the news. Something deep inside of me doesn’t like hearing that she’s slept with anyone. But I know that doesn’t make her a bad person.

  “And they are?”

  “Trevor’s my last boyfriend. He worked in the library, too. He ended up being…” she stares at the soup can. “Not nice.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” I cup her jaw. “I’ll never touch you without tenderness being behind it, Sasha.”

  A soft rose blush crowns her cheeks. “And Casio he’s a nice guy…but that was a one-night stand that felt like I was ruining a friendship. I think we were both trying to feel better. He’s going to be excited to hear this, but Trevor’s going to be pissed that I told him the wrong information.”

  “There’s no reason he has to know. He can’t touch you here, Sasha. I will protect you. I was lost until today. I know that you’re my guiding star.”

  Her mouth drops open just a smidge in a small pant. “I…I don’t know if I can fall for someone right now, Crow. I need to concentrate on my babies.”

  “You take your time. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I start a skillet and set to make the grilled cheese. I open the soup and get it into a saucepan.

  “You like to cook?” she asks.

  “Yeah.”

  “What else do you like to do, Crow?”

  “I paint,” I say it and then I shake my head like it will clear the past. I normally keep that secret to myself. Only my niece knows that truth. And now Sasha.

  “What do you paint?”

  “Abstracts. Like Picasso, Pollack, or Kandinsky.”

  “I’d love to see them. There’s a collection at the Met that I loved going to see.”

  “I’d love to show them to mine sometime.”

  “That would be great.”

  I finish up what might now be considered a midnight snack, but she can eat whenever she’s hungry in my mind. Her shapely body tells me that she enjoys eating and I like that. She’s soft and feminine and generous and I can imagine holding her in my arms, but I didn’t have to imagine. I already did experience the heaven when she basically crashed into me coming off the bus.

  “What’s that smile for?” she asks while I slip a bowl and plate in front of her.

  “Just remembering a great moment from today.”

  She leans forward and her breasts press into the stainless-steel edge of the kitchen table. “What’s that?”

  “When I was holding you in my arms when you came off the bus.”

  Her face softens with disappointment and then she shakes her dropped head. “And then I hit you. I’m sorry, Crow. I’m so messed up inside.”

  I lean forward and press my lips to her forehead. She raises her head and those ruby lips call to me. My cock pulses with the animal DNA in my blood. I lower my head and lightly press to her lips.

  The sigh that I’m rewarded with is more than perfect. I don’t feel her relax, always on heightened sense.

  I back away. “Ready to eat?”

  “God, yes.”

  We dig in. She’s right—the grilled cheese wouldn’t have been the same without the tomato soup to dip it in. It’s the perfect match.

  I just wonder if we’re the same. My heart beats sure and true.

  Sasha is perfect. She is my balance in life. The star shining bright in my life to guide me into being the man I want to be.

  She is mine.

  7

  Sasha

  I know what I’m feeling and it should scare me, but it doesn’t. I’ve known good guys and bad guys and what’s inside of me says that Crow…he’s one of the best.

  We finish our meal and I stand to do the dishes.

  “No, you sit. I’ll do them.” He waves me off.

  “No. I’ll do them. You cooked. I clean. It’s only fair.”

  “No, you’ve had a long day. You sit and relax.”

  I cross my arms on my chest. “I was in the military, I know how to work through exhaustion, Crow.” I wonder his real name, because if that’s it, I’m turned on for sure. It’s dark and has an element of joy to it. But I can imagine his real name being something more creative.

  He seems to be fighting himself. His need to care runs deep and I wonder how many women he’s cared for. My laundry list of men is too long. Even in the military I couldn’t find a “good man.” Unlike the movie indicated, there were very, very, very few good men. And for the last two years I’ve fought to find one on the outside of the hell-zone,
too.

  “Fine,” he acquiesces.

  I warm and there’s a bounce in my step. I’ve won a battle to be me and I needed to know it was possible with him. I’ve been in the position of always being told “no” or that he knows best. It only makes me a little more excited to see where we could go. I know now that the other way doesn’t work for me anymore.

  “That’s better. Now, tell me, Crow, is that your real name?”

  He stiffens. “No, but in the MC it is.”

  “Why’s that?” I start washing dishes and setting them on the rack to dry.

  He blows a long breath through his mouth and leans back to stretch, his toned arms crossing behind his head and his T-shirt lifting to show just the hint of a trail of dark hair into his jeans. “The vast majority of us come in here with baggage and sometimes our name is part of a 10-piece luggage set of the past. The weight travels with us. But when we come in here, we’re given a new name to release us from what we’ve carried along the way.”

  “Does the TSS do the same?”

  “No, not as far as I know, but I know that Gia’s Twisted Sisterhood MC club does. Many of their members are past TSS clients.”

  “How often do you go for rides?”

  “I’m not taking a pregnant woman on a bike, Sasha.”

  I look back over my shoulder. “And I’ll never get on a bike, Crow. My father was killed riding his bike.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. One of our member’s brother was the same and I know the pain he’s carried along with him. Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No. I’m okay. He was the best dad though. I miss him. I miss my mom, too. You have any family here in town?” I wipe my hands off. All done.

  “One of my niece’s is married to the club president, Slater, and the other to the VP, Vice.”

  “Wow, they must be special women to be able to handle such powerful men.”

  He stands and walks around the island. “That’s the thing. They’re powerful when it comes to the club, but when they’re with their women, you’d think that they’d taken some love-potion.”